JANUARY the TOOTH



On the ninth day of Christmas....................



Traditionally today is ‘Wheelie Bin Day’ in the UK.

In the modern, developed, post-Greta, Attenborough-effected UK of 2022, it is now considered ‘Traditional’ to traditionally stuff as much unwanted traditional wrap into whichever wheelie bin traditionally has the most space.

But tradition can often be fickle.


As Advent gives way to Epiphany, EU immigrant French Hens give way to ex-pat Calling Birds, and Netflix lays out a Top 10 of ‘must-see’ movies, we like many other cultures have differing bin days, and many see Bin Day as just another day.

Some countries don’t even celebrate Bin Day!

In East Anglia (East Suffolk Council - Zone A - Refuse Collection), many people decorate the streets with colourful wrapping paper.

Last century people started stuffing huge cardboard boxes into their dustbins, and people still do the same in certain parts of Norfolk, but with the much more attractive & seasonal green wheelie bins.

In the years BC (Before Covid), people would actually kiss under mistletoe!
Many find that putting their used tissues in the wrong bin owes its heritage to this.

Others put food waste into their recycling to allow more room for their ‘Only just cold’ Xmas trees.
‘Xmas’ is the 3 month period prior to ‘Wheelie Bin Day’.

In these Modern Dark Ages, most people are vegetarian (or educated), but a lot of turkeys are still traditionally set alight, and then thrown into a bin bag.
Most are brutally overfed, then slaughtered beforehand.
It used to be tradition to ‘pull the wishbone’, but many teenagers now watch porn on their phones.

In the era before ‘Austerity’, many refuse-collectors would collect these markers of mass consumption and take them to the tip.
Now the local council encourages well-meaning unpaid volunteers to pick the wind-strewn detritus from the verges when the weather is more clement in June.

Many think it was the Victorian Baby Jesus that encouraged this period of ‘Mis-Rule’, but a spokesperson for Waveney Norse has strenuously denied this.
The mythical ‘Bin Faeries’ are still considered a thing.

This year’s World Cup Football will be played in Qatar. No-one was available for comment on whether Qatar celebrates Bin Day.


 

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