STOP THE CLOCKS!




I won’t lie; it’s not my favourite month.

It’s not my least favourite month either.
I reserve that accolade for October and November.
Everyone turns into a complete dickhead then.

Whether it’s extolling the virtues of dead or dying trees, banging-on about cosy jumpers, or rolling around in dog-shit covered leaves.
Or the clocks going back! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
Or the increased consumption of food, and fuel, and stuff. So much stuff!
Or the slow descent toward Xmas and the slaughter of the innocents.



Nah.
Fuck Autumn. It's shite.

I love January!
Yeah it’s cold & dark still.
And most people are either diseased, or broke, or both.
But the days are getting longer, the bulbs are in bloom, and as l’m a tight git with no income, I don’t get Blue Monday (regardless of which Monday it now falls on).

February almost feels like Summer to me.
The verdant greens, the splashes of white, purple and yellow, the earlier sunrises, the later days.
I watch my 'smart meter' (who is in fact a bit thick) slowly drop numbers, from triple figures to affordable duets; and I know we’re good for at least 6 or 7 more months.

But I urge you (as I always will).
When the petition does the rounds to stop us fucking about with the clocks;
please sign it?


The Government have houses to build, farmers to placate, wars to wage, scroungers to out, and bills to pass.
But they are legally obliged to debate Daylight Savings Time if enough of us sign the petition.

The deal is to go (for ONE YEAR ONLY) two hours forward in Spring, then one hour back in Autumn.
Then leave it alone.
For good!



We will have longer summer days, we will have lighter, brighter and less expensive winters.
It will have beneficial effects on our mental health and our pockets.
And yes - Highland Scottish schoolchildren will go to school in the dark.
They already do!

Thankfully we are no longer at war with Germany.
GB changed the clocks along with America because the enemy did so first, in order to make more bombs.
Daylight Saving is an anachronism.
It’s time to put it to bed……………..

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