WHEN IN EUROPE............
None of us can escape the wall-to-wall coverage of kickballing entertainment over the forthcoming few weeks.
And as a sports fan, I welcome any distraction from broken electoral systems, political soundbites, adversarial doggerel, and an alarming rise in popularity on the right-wings of our troubled continent.
So as the ad execs finalise their positioning of livery, and the chief execs of Atos, Just Eat and Visit Qatar watch the cash roll in, I thought I'd put my lack of money where my large mouth is, and stake an armchair supporter's claim to an 'interest'.
Ireland will not be there.
Neither (rather surprisingly!) will Israel or Australia.
As a kilt-wearing clansman, my heart will be with Scotland.
But as sure as a cold Bitburger will taste better than a warm Irn Bru, we all know that Scotland's progress will be over after the first 90 minutes of the competition.
Somewhere an English commentator will look upon the tartan fans and utter the immortal cliche':
"Well those lads are just happy to be there".
And in a lot of ways, it will be true.
So who am I putting my money on?
France.
France will win.
But who will give them (and the Angles, and the Saxons) the best run for their money and mine?
Belgium.
So it is without a moment's doubt, that I will taking-on the supporters' guise of a Franco-Belgian from history - the Walloon!
Kickball has become the ultimate example of bourgeois entertainment.
Highly paid athletes dance around in heavily sponsored outfits, all under the banners of the world's largest corporations.
A club team's success now heavily depends on which nation state owns it.
And nothing is more of bourgeois piss-take than the Fat Tuesday celebration of Gilles mask-wearing Walloons, in which they cock-a-snoop at the Napoleonic regime, by throwing blood oranges at one another!
The English team's beer sponsor is the non-beer from across the Atlantic Budweiser.
The UEFA beer sponsor is Wallonian neighbour (and destroyer of Welsh orchards!) Heineken.
The German event beer sponsor is Bitburger.
But I bet you my tax rebate for 2025, that more pints of Stella Artois will be drunk in the pubs of the UK over the 4 weeks of the Euros than any other.
Wallonia is home to Stella Artois.
Wallonia is the place where warring factions from England, Germany, France and Belgium put down their weapons to play football.
Walloons (like the Scots and the Irish) were originally Celts.
So put down that Coca Cola and pick up a proper beer!
Delete Just Eat, and pick up those oranges!
Put away your Taiwanese-made flag of Malta & Gerona, and get out your cock!
Cry God for Mbappe and De Bruyne, not England & St.George!
And embrace the Benelux peoples of Europe, and not those who stupidly chose to leave!
La victoire sera a nous!
De overwinning zal van ons zijn!
***Yanny Mac has a love/hate relationship with professional football, and will be mostly concerned with Scotland in the World Cricket, and Ireland in the European Athletics.
And as a sports fan, I welcome any distraction from broken electoral systems, political soundbites, adversarial doggerel, and an alarming rise in popularity on the right-wings of our troubled continent.
So as the ad execs finalise their positioning of livery, and the chief execs of Atos, Just Eat and Visit Qatar watch the cash roll in, I thought I'd put my lack of money where my large mouth is, and stake an armchair supporter's claim to an 'interest'.
Ireland will not be there.
Neither (rather surprisingly!) will Israel or Australia.
As a kilt-wearing clansman, my heart will be with Scotland.
But as sure as a cold Bitburger will taste better than a warm Irn Bru, we all know that Scotland's progress will be over after the first 90 minutes of the competition.
Somewhere an English commentator will look upon the tartan fans and utter the immortal cliche':
"Well those lads are just happy to be there".
And in a lot of ways, it will be true.
So who am I putting my money on?
France.
France will win.
But who will give them (and the Angles, and the Saxons) the best run for their money and mine?
Belgium.
So it is without a moment's doubt, that I will taking-on the supporters' guise of a Franco-Belgian from history - the Walloon!
Kickball has become the ultimate example of bourgeois entertainment.
Highly paid athletes dance around in heavily sponsored outfits, all under the banners of the world's largest corporations.
A club team's success now heavily depends on which nation state owns it.
And nothing is more of bourgeois piss-take than the Fat Tuesday celebration of Gilles mask-wearing Walloons, in which they cock-a-snoop at the Napoleonic regime, by throwing blood oranges at one another!
The English team's beer sponsor is the non-beer from across the Atlantic Budweiser.
The UEFA beer sponsor is Wallonian neighbour (and destroyer of Welsh orchards!) Heineken.
The German event beer sponsor is Bitburger.
But I bet you my tax rebate for 2025, that more pints of Stella Artois will be drunk in the pubs of the UK over the 4 weeks of the Euros than any other.
Wallonia is home to Stella Artois.
Wallonia is the place where warring factions from England, Germany, France and Belgium put down their weapons to play football.
Walloons (like the Scots and the Irish) were originally Celts.
The cock is the flag of Wallonia.
So put down that Coca Cola and pick up a proper beer!
Delete Just Eat, and pick up those oranges!
Put away your Taiwanese-made flag of Malta & Gerona, and get out your cock!
Cry God for Mbappe and De Bruyne, not England & St.George!
And embrace the Benelux peoples of Europe, and not those who stupidly chose to leave!
La victoire sera a nous!
De overwinning zal van ons zijn!
***Yanny Mac has a love/hate relationship with professional football, and will be mostly concerned with Scotland in the World Cricket, and Ireland in the European Athletics.
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