LET THE 0.2% DECIDE!
So imagine if you will (if you can?) you’re a member of the Conservative Party.
I would normally include ‘Conservative Party Voters’, but due to the fact that we persist in (not) electing our leaders based on an archaic system from 300 years ago, your opinion won’t be registered.
At the moment, whilst we wait for the other two who are quite obviously still powdering their noses in the Ladies! (Tory joke), you will have a choice of five candidates to be your newest party head.
Fresh in your memory are the Cameron/May/Johnson/Truss/Sunak years.
Cameron fell on his EU sword in 2016.
All of 8 whole years ago. That's a lot of party leaders!
A Cotswolds Blur.
As a party member you will need a ‘Them’ who will unite the party.
(This means ‘be more like Reform’).
But you need a man or a woman or a person who will fight the opposition.
This is Labour.
It’s always been either Labour or the Whigs.
Under the watchful eye of His Royal Highgrove, you may need another ‘Lord’ or ‘Sir’ or aristocrat.
We love aristocrats in the UK!
Until we hate them.
But since 1978 you’ve become increasingly aware that down to universal suffrage, one half of the electorate is almost entirely made up of women!
(It’s ok. It’s only Priti. The others are probably still in the Ladies powdering their noses!)
It’s clear that although we don’t really have an army, our wealth (5th Richest Baby!) is still heavily rooted in the Industrial Military Complex.
Those SAGA holidays come at a price Boomers!
The world is at war with our weapons, just not our troops.
Yet.
A NATO 'Punisher' Grenade Launcher, currently being used in the Ukraine and the Middle East.
So do we look to a Churchillian figure to lead us into conflict?
He may have to come from what Tories still refer to as 'the T.A'., but he’s got shiny medals!
And with the Labour Party seemingly unbeatable, unless the topic is The Environment, The Economy, Home Security, Foreign Policy or Welfare, should you swerve these subjects altogether, and embrace McCarthyism by looking for ‘anti-semites under the bed’?
The next leader needs to have it ALL.
Like Liz Truss did.
Then didn’t.
Prime Minister Liz Truss chosen for us by the 0.02%.
Do you go for the prettiest of the flag-shaggers Dame Patel, who doesn’t NEED to powder her nose in the Ladies, because she’s out there rootin’ & tootin’ to shoot all those immigrants who come over here looking for a better future? Blissfully negating any chance of electoral reform, Priti says she's all about 'winning'.
Or should you go for the more ‘left-leaning’ of the candidates, who positions himself slightly wide-right of centre?
An ex-military man with tons of medals.
Mates with both Israel and the Saudis, and carrying the weighty titles of MBE, VR and the Right Hon the Privy.
Tom Tugendhat's Medal Ribbons.
****
Traditionalists might go for the ‘conservative’s Conservative’ Melvyn Stride?
But Mel’s nearly as old as me, and if Biden v. Trump has taught us anything…………
......I forget what it is, but a man in his late 60s is no rep for Generation Vape.
Cleverly’s a Lieutenant Colonel who almost completed Sandhurst!
He doesn’t have the military medals that Tom T has, but he did serve as Foreign Sec under Prime Minister Truss, and thus secured a strong relationship with the Saudis, whilst joking about administering Rohypnol to his wife! LOL.
He loves the game Warhammer, and if his Duke of Edinburgh style royal awards were an indication of how good someone was at EVERYTHING, he would be god!
Jimmy Cleverly's Award Ribbons.
****And then there’s Bob Jenrick.
Terrified that everyone hates Jews, convinced we should send ‘illegals’ to Albania, and always getting done for speeding in one of his cars.
Robert owns 3 homes worth trillions of pounds but rents his living space through the government’s allowance scheme.
This of course will open up an opportunity for David Cameron to return as leader. I hope this has given you all a rudimentary grasp of a contest that 99.98% have no influence over? Our media seems to think we should all gawp and wonder 'What if?'. In the meantime, have yourselves a great summer recess! The date for 'the final' is November 2nd. The clocks will have gone back a long time before................
I would normally include ‘Conservative Party Voters’, but due to the fact that we persist in (not) electing our leaders based on an archaic system from 300 years ago, your opinion won’t be registered.
At the moment, whilst we wait for the other two who are quite obviously still powdering their noses in the Ladies! (Tory joke), you will have a choice of five candidates to be your newest party head.
Fresh in your memory are the Cameron/May/Johnson/Truss/Sunak years.
Cameron fell on his EU sword in 2016.
All of 8 whole years ago. That's a lot of party leaders!
A Cotswolds Blur.
(This means ‘be more like Reform’).
But you need a man or a woman or a person who will fight the opposition.
This is Labour.
It’s always been either Labour or the Whigs.
Under the watchful eye of His Royal Highgrove, you may need another ‘Lord’ or ‘Sir’ or aristocrat.
We love aristocrats in the UK!
Until we hate them.
But since 1978 you’ve become increasingly aware that down to universal suffrage, one half of the electorate is almost entirely made up of women!
(It’s ok. It’s only Priti. The others are probably still in the Ladies powdering their noses!)
It’s clear that although we don’t really have an army, our wealth (5th Richest Baby!) is still heavily rooted in the Industrial Military Complex.
Those SAGA holidays come at a price Boomers!
The world is at war with our weapons, just not our troops.
Yet.
A NATO 'Punisher' Grenade Launcher, currently being used in the Ukraine and the Middle East.
So do we look to a Churchillian figure to lead us into conflict?
He may have to come from what Tories still refer to as 'the T.A'., but he’s got shiny medals!
And with the Labour Party seemingly unbeatable, unless the topic is The Environment, The Economy, Home Security, Foreign Policy or Welfare, should you swerve these subjects altogether, and embrace McCarthyism by looking for ‘anti-semites under the bed’?
The next leader needs to have it ALL.
Like Liz Truss did.
Then didn’t.
Do you go for the prettiest of the flag-shaggers Dame Patel, who doesn’t NEED to powder her nose in the Ladies, because she’s out there rootin’ & tootin’ to shoot all those immigrants who come over here looking for a better future? Blissfully negating any chance of electoral reform, Priti says she's all about 'winning'.
****
Or should you go for the more ‘left-leaning’ of the candidates, who positions himself slightly wide-right of centre?
An ex-military man with tons of medals.
Mates with both Israel and the Saudis, and carrying the weighty titles of MBE, VR and the Right Hon the Privy.
Tom Tugendhat's Medal Ribbons.
****
Traditionalists might go for the ‘conservative’s Conservative’ Melvyn Stride?
But Mel’s nearly as old as me, and if Biden v. Trump has taught us anything…………
......I forget what it is, but a man in his late 60s is no rep for Generation Vape.
****
Cleverly’s a Lieutenant Colonel who almost completed Sandhurst!
He doesn’t have the military medals that Tom T has, but he did serve as Foreign Sec under Prime Minister Truss, and thus secured a strong relationship with the Saudis, whilst joking about administering Rohypnol to his wife! LOL.
He loves the game Warhammer, and if his Duke of Edinburgh style royal awards were an indication of how good someone was at EVERYTHING, he would be god!
Jimmy Cleverly's Award Ribbons.
****
Terrified that everyone hates Jews, convinced we should send ‘illegals’ to Albania, and always getting done for speeding in one of his cars.
Robert owns 3 homes worth trillions of pounds but rents his living space through the government’s allowance scheme.
****
The other girls are still in the Ladies, which under Labour ‘could’, ‘should’ and ‘might’ be dismantled along with the Lords.This of course will open up an opportunity for David Cameron to return as leader. I hope this has given you all a rudimentary grasp of a contest that 99.98% have no influence over? Our media seems to think we should all gawp and wonder 'What if?'. In the meantime, have yourselves a great summer recess! The date for 'the final' is November 2nd. The clocks will have gone back a long time before................
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